From judgement to curiosity
Many of us have learned to be critical of ourselves. Compassionate Inquiry invites us to become curious about those reactions instead, not to excuse everything, but to understand where our responses may have come from.
Compassionate Inquiry
A different way of understanding ourselves
Developed by Dr Gabor Maté, Compassionate Inquiry is an approach that invites us to look with curiosity and compassion at the experiences, beliefs and patterns that may be shaping how we live today.
Rather than asking what is wrong with us, it encourages us to become curious about what has happened to us, and how we learned to adapt as a result of what happened to us.
What is Compassionate Inquiry?
Compassionate Inquiry encourages us to become curious about the experiences that have shaped us, rather than judging ourselves for the ways we respond.
We may begin to notice the beliefs we developed, the ways we learned to protect ourselves, and the patterns that once helped us cope but may no longer serve us in the same way.
The intention isn't to blame the past or search endlessly for an explanation. It is to understand ourselves with greater compassion so that we can begin to have more choice in how we respond today.
Three ideas at the heart of the work
Understanding our adaptations
Some of the patterns we struggle with today may have developed as ways of coping, protecting ourselves or meeting our needs at an earlier point in life.
Understanding this can create a little more space between what we automatically do, how we respond, and what we might choose to do differently now.
Listening to the body
Our bodies can sometimes communicate things that are difficult to put into words. Paying attention to sensations, tension and other physical responses can offer another way into our experience.
Rather than treating the body as separate from the story, we can become curious about what it may be telling us.
Why I was drawn to Compassionate Inquiry
My own experiences of health challenges led me to Dr Gabor Maté's work. His understanding of trauma, addiction and the relationship between our emotional lives and our bodies changed the way I thought about health and about ourselves.
In November 2018, I was in the audience when Gabor announced that he was launching the Compassionate Inquiry training programme. Something about the approach felt deeply aligned with the way I had come to understand people and their experiences, and I knew I wanted to be part of it.
When the training began in 2019, I joined the programme. The training has influenced not only the way I work with my clients, but also my own understanding of myself.
What continues to resonate with me is the idea that the things we struggle with are not necessarily signs that something is wrong with us. Sometimes they are adaptations, ways we have learned to cope, protect ourselves or navigate what life has asked of us.
That perspective has changed the questions I ask. Instead of simply asking how we can get rid of a difficult or unhelpful pattern, I'm interested in understanding what it may have been trying to do for us and what might be possible when we meet it with curiosity rather than judgement.
How Compassionate Inquiry shapes my work
Compassionate Inquiry is the cornerstone of my therapeutic work. It has changed my understanding of trauma, our ways of coping, and the relationship between our experiences and the story our body tells.
It has changed the way I listen and the questions I ask. Rather than focusing only on a symptom or behaviour, I'm interested in understanding what may lie beneath it.
My training in Clinical Hypnotherapy, Cognitive Hypnotherapy, EFT and Havening complements this foundation, giving me additional approaches to draw on when they feel appropriate.
For me, it always comes back to understanding the person underneath the stories.
Curious whether Compassionate Inquiry might be right for you?
You don't need to understand the approach before you begin, and you don't need to arrive with a clear explanation of what you're looking for.
A free 15-minute introductory call gives us a chance to talk about what brings you here and see whether working together feels like the right fit.